"I've got the gift of one liners
And you've got the curse of curves
And with this gift I compose words
And the question that comes forward
Are you perspiring from the irony
Or sweating to these lyrics"

It means he can pick up girls really easily (maybe because he's good looking?) and she is one of those really pretty (and shallow?) girls who goes for good looking guys like him....

"And this just in
You're a dead fit
But my wit won't allow it"

My guess is that "You're a dead fit" means everything is perfect about this girl, but the line "But my wit won't allow it" suggests that she isn't very intelligent (or maybe there's no chemistry between them besides attraction to each others looks)

"The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes"

That pretty much means this girl is probably all in it for the money and glamour that comes with dating somebody in a band (maybe??? I'm not sure)

"I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win"

He wants someone he can hold a conversation and have chemistry with, but he admits he is too shallow to go for that kind of girl.

I don't get the rest of the song... So maybe somebody else can take it from here....